Cheeze Squeezins

If blogging was easy, anyone could do it. Oh, wait…

Michelle Obama is unemployed! But you knew that.

Don’t know if you heard, but Dear Leader is apparently all a-twist that the First Lady doesn’t get paid.  And it’s just….just…just…SUCH a tough job.  {{sobbing, dabs at single tear dramatically}}


Yes, the sacrifices she has to make to shoulder the heavy burden we placed on her when we elected her First Lady.  Oh, wait, what?  What’s that you say?  She wasn’t elected to help run the country?  She’s just along for the RIDE?!  She’s not a government employee?  And….we aren’t paying her?!  Hmmm. Must be racism.

But still, she’s been thrown into the breach, so to speak, thrust to the forefront of American politics, forced to battle through days filled with nothing but responsibility and toil with no one to help her but her 22 full time staffers.

Forced to endure long hours aboard Air Force one on her way to vacations in Africa, Rio, Spain ($467,585), France, New Orleans, Aspen, Martha’s Vinyard, Vail and New York. 

Forced to {{gulp}} shop at TARGET like one of the working class!!   {{keening wail of despair}}

Oh. The. HORROR.

‘Course, the question arises, if she’s so under-compensated, so destitute and forlorn, how is she affording a $6,800 designer jacket, a $2,400 dress, or $540 tennis shoes?

Methinks that ol’ Michelle isn’t exactly missing any meals these days.  And if B.O. has such a problem with it, why doesn’t he just appoint her as a cabinet member?  He’s done it for all his other friends and flunkies.


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5 thoughts on “Michelle Obama is unemployed! But you knew that.

  1. Come ON! You’re being petty. I mean, doesn’t she at least deserve combat pay for being married to that idiot? And managing 22 staff members is HARD. I know. I’ve been in management. sshheeesh! And all that travel. It’s exhausting.

    I think you don’t like her or something.

  2. It’s not that I don’t like her, it’s just that I’m utterly, completely and exhaustively unsympathetic to her “plight.” I’m just all hatery like that.

    • Okay, yeah, and I really don’t like her all that much either. I’m sure she’s a nice enough lady one on one, but her high-handed moralizing about our food choices makes me want to quaff down a cheeseburger out of simple, passive-aggressive spite.

      • Can I direct some juicy hatey hate at her then? ‘Cause I don’t like her. Never have. She isn’t just preachy and moralizing and telling us what to eat while her most mighty fatness is scrunched into the under-boob belt that she relies on as a basic wardrobe item, she things America is mean and selfish and stingy and the only way we are going to be “saved” is for her husband to take us down a notch.

        Me no like.

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