Cheeze Squeezins

If blogging was easy, anyone could do it. Oh, wait…

Archive for the category “Politics”

Here, hold my beer. Watch this!

Holy muthafuggin bajeezus, when I wrote this, it was only to use hyperbole to express how utterly ridiculous the idea is, and how utterly appalingly stupid it should sound to each and every even remotely rational soul capable of even the most rudimentary cognition.

It honestly never even occurred to me that the dumbass would actually TRY it.

The Proposed $1.6 Trillion in Tax Hikes Already Threatening Jobs

How, honestly, in the name of all that is round and fulsome, do you NOT understand the devastating impact of imposing over a TRLLION dollars of new taxes on an already struggling working class?

At the SAME TIME that you are implementing policies which are driving employers to cut hours and drop benefits in order to stay in business?  Oh, and your energy policies are sending the price of once-abundant electricity through the roof, and oh-by-the-way, gas is approaching $5 a gallon in many places?

Quick Review, here:  A trillion is 1,000 billions.  Or, 1,000,000 millions.  The entire US population is hovering around a paltry 314 MILLION.  Not wage earners, mind you, but every mouth-breathing consumer of all types from infants to old farts in nursing homes.

How. In. The. HELL do you expect to squeeze over a million million dollars out of 314 million people?

Oh, sorry, wait.  What I meant to say was…over a million million MORE dollars than they are ALREADY PAYING?

So, let’s make everything cost more, while simultaneously taking away at least $2-3000 a year from the average family, all the while trumpeting how awesome your fiscal policy is, and oh my, isn’t is great how we kept those evil Tea-Partiers from getting into office?


Economics for the math challenged.

Also know as, Economics for the willfully ignorant, or, as I like to call them, “Liberals.”

Here it is, folks.  Plain and simple.  If you have a $1.4 TRILLION deficit, as in, planned spending over and above what you expect to receive in income, then you’d have to increase your income (in this case, taxes) by $1.4 TRILLION if you ever want to break EVEN!

So, if you have a federal government that hasn’t passed a federal budget in over four years, who thinks that things like “continuing resolutions” and “unfunded liabilities” are just an a-okay way to run the show, who continues to maintain that we can’t “afford” any spending cuts because OMG-You-hate-grandma-and-want-her-to-die, and whose only plan for solving this problem is to “tax the rich,” then you are, and let me see if I can come up with an appropriately descriptive term here….uhmmm, OH, I know:

Completely fucked.

And remember, that would just be to stop the bleeding, to keep the hole from getting any deeper.  Any talk of paying off the existing $16 Trillion in national debt would have to be an entirely separate and additional conversation.

The reality of it, of course, should be patently obvious to any but the most self-deluded, braindead, dumb-ass muthafuckin’ social reject (again, as I like to call them, “Liberals”):  You cannot pay off our debt, or solve our deficit problem just by increasing taxes on the rich.   You HAVE TO STOP SPENDING SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY. 

And yes, so, we put forth a couple of pretty hardass, ball-busting economics powerhouses to do just that.  And they and their ilk were summarily defeated in favor of the “We want our stuff, and we want it for free, and we want it now, and if we don’t get it we’ll throw ourselves down and have a tantrum like a demon-child in the candy aisle of Wal-Mart” crowd pleasers.

And yes, this is probably the most profanity I’ve ever posted on the internet at one time, because I’m just that damn pissed off.

I had a gentleman of color in my office the other day (or, as I like to call him, a black dude),  who was just giddy and bubbly and beside himself that Obama had been re-elected.   When I tried bring up all the problems and economic Bad Things going on, pretty much all he could do was grin like the cat that ate the canary and insist, “Obama’s gonna fix it.”  I’m not kidding.  That is a direct quote.  Try to pin him down on specifics, and he gets all vague, talks about generalities, points out quite eruditely the problems, but his only really solution was, “Obama’s gonna fix it.”  He couldn’t tell you how, or why he was so confident despite the fact that Obama hadn’t managed to fix it during the LAST four years, but he just knew.  He had faith.  It was The Obama.

How do you possibly face that kind of blind idealism, completely unassailable by anything resembling fact or reality?  It really does feel like a cult.

So, yeah.  We are so screwed, and enough of the country doesn’t care, just wants their stuff, and they want it for free, and how dare you even suggest we defund PBS or the National Endowment for the Arts, or National Education Assocation, or any of a million other useless boondoggle pork projects. Hater.

Provocative and Eye-Catching Title goes HERE

Well, when I started this blog, I actually thought I would blog. On it.  Frequently.  That I would join the ranks of the witty, scathing satirists and snarkophiles, my URL getting ladeled over blogrolls across the interwebs with great abandon.  Yes, people would come to my blog, and they would comment, and give me one of those virtual noogies or a punch in the shoulder about just how great that last post was, and really, why haven’t you written a book yet because you’re just that damn good/funny/charming/obnoxious?  I’d get a bunch of trackbacks and tweets with those wierd tiny urls.  Fawning posts on other blogs about how they were gonna blog about this or that, but Cheeze already did it, and really, just go read his post instead of mine.  Yes, you can almost see the little sparkles in my eyes as I gaze off, slightly up and to the left at that classic angle, fingers curved and set lightly under my chin, with a vague, distant smile as I let it all play out in my head.

Well, when I started this blog, I didn’t plan on having all my internal organs ripped out and replaced with radioactive sand.  But I digress.

I’m still trying to come to grips with this whole separation thing. Some days I’m all self-righteous and angry about what SHE is doing TO me, and then next I’m all melancholy and angsty, wondering what it was I did to make this happen.  And then I’m back with the, “I’ve done so much, tried so hard, how come it’s never enough?!?”  Only to cycle over into picking over every mistake, holding it up, looking at it in great, morose detail, then smashing myself in the forehead with it over and over again.

It’s hard not to write about something when it’s consuming your life, but I really don’t want this to turn into a whinging ooh-I’m-getting-divorced blog.  Because, yeah, THAT’S the way to keep your customers coming back for more!  Now with even MORE 13-year-old emo drama in every bite!  Ga’ak.

Is there an apostrophe in “Ga’ak?”  Gaak?  Probably not, eh?

So, how about those debates, eh?  Romney really brung it, right?  I didn’t actually see either one, but I’ve read a lot of blog posts about them, so that’s pretty much the same thing.  I honestly don’t understand how Obama is still in the running for anything other than the guy who wipes down the chrome on your car after you take it through the car wash.  Considering what a hash he’s made of our economy, our national prestige, and just about everything else he’s touched, I’da thought even the Democrats could have run somebody against him and won.  But no, it looks like the cult of Obama is a strong as ever.

Now if only my marriage had that kind of staying power.  Damn.  Did it again. Sorry.

I fear that my chosen means of dealing with the stress will be food, and I will balloon myself up to 200 pounds.  Because THAT’S what a woman want in her man.  Uncontrolled obsessive eating.  Not that it matters at this point, DOES IT?! NO!  A LITTLE LATE NOW, ISN’T IT?!

Crap. Gotta quit that.

So, yeah, elections coming up.  Got my absentee ballot. No, you don’t get to know where I live.  I plan to be an informed voter and actually research all the candidates in my local election, even though I haven’t actually lived in my “home” states for eight years. No, you don’t get to know that either.  Okay, it’s Washington state.  But that’s it. That’s all you get. 

I have a sort of cynical attitude towards absentee ballots.  I figure their like some sort of consolation prize, or the trophy that everyone gets these days at the end of the soccer season, so that you can feel like you actually participated, even though everybody knows they don’t actually count for shit.  Kind of like everything I’ve tried to do in my MARRIAGE for the last 17 YEARS!

Heavy sigh. My sincerest apologies.  I guess I really do need to go have a quiet time somewhere.  Maybe have a few drinks.  Mellow out a bit. Because, I mean, after all it doesn’t matter if I drink NOW, DOES IT, HONEY?!  DOES IT?!


Michelle Obama is unemployed! But you knew that.

Don’t know if you heard, but Dear Leader is apparently all a-twist that the First Lady doesn’t get paid.  And it’s just….just…just…SUCH a tough job.  {{sobbing, dabs at single tear dramatically}}


Yes, the sacrifices she has to make to shoulder the heavy burden we placed on her when we elected her First Lady.  Oh, wait, what?  What’s that you say?  She wasn’t elected to help run the country?  She’s just along for the RIDE?!  She’s not a government employee?  And….we aren’t paying her?!  Hmmm. Must be racism.

But still, she’s been thrown into the breach, so to speak, thrust to the forefront of American politics, forced to battle through days filled with nothing but responsibility and toil with no one to help her but her 22 full time staffers.

Forced to endure long hours aboard Air Force one on her way to vacations in Africa, Rio, Spain ($467,585), France, New Orleans, Aspen, Martha’s Vinyard, Vail and New York. 

Forced to {{gulp}} shop at TARGET like one of the working class!!   {{keening wail of despair}}

Oh. The. HORROR.

‘Course, the question arises, if she’s so under-compensated, so destitute and forlorn, how is she affording a $6,800 designer jacket, a $2,400 dress, or $540 tennis shoes?

Methinks that ol’ Michelle isn’t exactly missing any meals these days.  And if B.O. has such a problem with it, why doesn’t he just appoint her as a cabinet member?  He’s done it for all his other friends and flunkies.

There’s profiling, and then there’s PROFILING

In case you missed it, that oxygen thief Harry Reid (D) is all afluff and in high dudgeon, insisting that “he heard from this guy who knows this girl who’s friends with my hairdresser’s dog’s pedicurist that Mitt Romney hasn’t paid taxes, in like, you know, 4evah!

And thus firmly ensconsed on his soap box, is insisting, nay, dare I say DEMANDING that Romney prove him wrong.  Otherwise know as guilty until proven innocent.  Also known as “profiling.”

Which I guess is okay if you are a rich, white politician, but not if you a swarthy skinned middle-easterner or your first name is Juan Valdez Ramirez Himinez and you are crammed into a minivan with 17 of your close personal friends.  But I digress.

This kind of cheap shot, tawdry politics fall into the same category as a reporter asking, “Mr. Romney, have you stopped beating your wife yet?”  It assume facts not in evidence, immediately puts the target on the defensive, at the same time framing the narrative such that the target (if they fall for it) now has the burden of proof laid on them, rather than the accuser.

If Harry Reid has evidence that Mitt Romney is a tax evader, and thus a felon, he damn well better pony up the dope.  And I personally think that every politician who has been so adamant about seeing Romney personal tax returns ought to be right out there putting theirs up for comparison.  Yes, that includes Ms. Pelosi, and the Hon. Mr. Obama.

Come on, I thought this was the most transparent administration ever! {{snicker}} Yeah, right.

Thoughts on the Revolution

Well, I had some big, ambitious post to put up here about the 4th of July, but I realize that it ended up being some rambling dispeptic tirade sounding like nothing so much as some crazy homeless guy hopped up on sterno and paint fumes, so I just canned the whole thing.

I do want to say this.  I have, through years of military service, fortuitous circumstance, or other random job opportunities either lived in or visited over 23 countries of this world.  Ghana, Korea, Japan and most of the Persian Gulf countries. Mexico, Canada, Australia and a whole bunch of European countries.  And I will tell you one thing, unequivocally, and without reservation.  No where. NO WHERE else in this world do people enjoy the kinds of personal freedoms that we in the United States take so much for granted. 

An all the self-important Hollywood poppinjays who have nothing better to do than strut around lamenting how terrible America is as they cash another million dollar paycheck can just bite me.  And hypocritcal racist assholes like Chris Rock who spend so much of their time whipping up racial division while having no problem taking whitey’s money at the box office, can just STFU.  Why people continue to give air time to gasbags like them is beyond me.

Anyway, no, the USA isn’t perfect.  But no one or no thing ever is.   But, warts and all, I think we’ve got the best thing going, and I’ve got no problem saying, proclaiming and shouting that I am PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN.

In conclusion to this rambling dispetic tirade, I submit this:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,

From the consent of the governed. Not at the whims of the rulers.  And when that’s no longer the case, bad shit happens.  Just sayin’.


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